July 2011
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People that know kids, lend me your ears
Piggy’s starting that “I’m afraid of monsters” phase, and I really want to just read her a copy of “Go the Fck to Sleep”. I’m short on empathy and even shorter on patience when it comes to my rest, and letting her in my bed is NOT an option. Not only does she snore and kick, but she’s cunning and will say anything if she thinks it’ll let her...
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So, who's the best cell phone provider?
A rep from T-Mobile assaulted my character, told me to go to Verizon, then hung up on me. I’ve got an awesome plan with T-Mobile, but this snotbody bastard makes exploring my options seem worthwhile. Thoughts? Speak up, please.
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If I was to get married
My bridesmaids would be the motliest crew ever. None of their measurements are remotely similar, and they don’t even look like they know each other. I don’t see how Bridezillas try and demand that “one dress, one look” thing. It would never work in my case.
Also, my future hubby wouldn’t have to worry about extravagance or blowing out any budgets (Aldi’s and...
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I'm gonna make some flash cards, y'all
Two-thirds of the time, when someone comes to me with their problems, my answer is “Then tell that btch how you feel”. In an effort to maximize time and find a use for these awesome glitter penz I found on clearance, I’m just gonna start writing that on index cards and passing it out. The glitter will soften the blow of the hard cold truth…and look awesome. I’m a...
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Kindred's Gem of Wisdom
If you in a chicken shack and ALL the aprons is clean, run with all the energy of your ancestors. It’s probably a front for illegal ass activity, and/or the chicken will be disgusting. Real chicken shacks be one citation away from getting shut the fck down again. Grease, flour, seasonings, grease, chicken-ness, grease, skillets? That sht should be everywhere.
Don’t say I never tole...
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Aight, strugglebabies.
We’re done here. Be good to each other, and to yourselves.
a-ra replied to your photo: Couldn’t resist. Fck y’all, it felt good to…
they look good and feel good on your feet, why not buy them*lol*
That’s what I’ve been saying! I started to buy two pair just in case something happened to one of them. I might still do it. The price is right!
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You trollops be sleepin on Aldi's.
Listen here, mayne, Aldi and Trader Joe’s is first cousins. I’ll go there for some basic staples and come out with some sht fancy as all the fcks. Lemon-ginger sorbet? Blueberry goat cheese? Real ass Swiss/German/Not American Garbage chocolate? Sign me up! And guess what? If you buy some sht that tastes like oppression and slander, then they got a Double Guarantee! That means you get...
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Physical therapy is teaching me hip shimmys
I be all up in class like
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Webcammin and sht
Trying to stay awake until this file arrives. Flood me with questions, comments, concerns and (of course) fckery and I’ll answer it in via video tonight.
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Coonsponges, we're done for the evening (morning)....
I miss y’all already. Be good, mes chers.
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Elitist Confession
I’d never share this out loud, but it grinds my gears when I give away a piece of clothing or pair of shoes to someone only to see them wear it…horribly.
eyanj replied to your photo: Reason #14785 why cleaning out my closet is…
didn’t you get pregnant cuzza that dress?
ROFL **looks at calendar, does math** Piggy just turned four, so it’s very, very likely. Too likely, in fact…..maybe I’ll keep the dress lol
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Why am I cleaning out my closet at 2AM CST?
Piggy’s having a sleepover this weekend, and the apartment is…a wreck. There’s no other way to put it. I’ve kept the kitchen and bathroom clean (I have standards, y’all) but everything else is in shambles. The first problem is that we have, dare I say it, too many clothes. Next up is my tendency to hoard random keepsakes and bits of information like I’m an avid...
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Anonymous asked: KindredSmile,
@1:18
“I wanna be all up in your mind …”
Vulcan mind-meld I’m sure.
Good thing there was the credits at the beginning!
Director: Rubin Whitmore II
I’ll be sure to look for him at Cannes …
LB
@1:18
“I wanna be all up in your mind …”
Vulcan mind-meld I’m sure.
Good thing there was the credits at the beginning!
Director: Rubin Whitmore II
I’ll be sure to look for him at Cannes …
LB
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